Eye of the Beholder

16. What makes a person attractive, in your opinion?

See: Man in picture above. But this is a blog and John's face doesn't explain everything behind the man I love, though it covers some very nice ground.

I think this is a very interesting question to consider, as people tend to answer with basic similar responses before tacking on their own individual quirks (must like Munster cheese, would enjoy hot air balloon rides over the Appalachians, likes to do chores in the nude, etc.). Coincidentally, as someone is describing their ideal mate you learn just as much about them.

See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guinBnWWuKE

My personal opinion has retained a core nebula of attractive traits for as long as I can remember: confidence, good sense of humor, doesn't mind being a dork, likes a quiet night in with good food and a good flick, likes dogs, willing to kill large bugs and hairy arachnids. If I had to have a "type," I would say tall, dark-haired, a capable sort of man's man who doesn't wear popped collars or checkered golf shorts. And as I grew up and older, learning from relationships what I didn't want and what I did deserve, that list expanded to things like must respect me, work in equal partnership, be honest and open, willing to pursue and carryout dreams, embrace the desire to just be themselves and love another with the openness and eagerness that they want as well.

When I met John for the first time, I entered into our date with a primary acknowledgement. After having been in DC for a short while and having tried Match.com for a few months, I was tired of "okay dates" or "dates who didn't look like their pictures" or "dates who brought crickets to chirp in the background" or "dates who took my natural sunny demeanor for 'let's go back to your place and finish this wine after I awkwardly kiss you in the middle of the street'." Anyone who has tried online dating is aware of the risks: great guys, okay guys, nightmare guys. It's just like meeting in the real world except you get to read their resume first...and as some people spin quite a professional yarn, so do the romantic hopefuls of cyberspace. Sam and Becky, two of our good friends, have hatched a plan with us to launch "Rematch" at some point in the near future where Match alumni can network to pair previous flops...okay, so this isn't a serious business model, but might at least lead to Kardashian-esque reality television and a line of musky perfume.

John was going to be my last Match date. We'd had a great phone date the week prior, but meeting in person would determine if this great big experiment could offer any merit.

Well, I took one look at the smile he gave me while waiting outside the Cleveland Park metro stop and that was that. We've been together ever since. I didn't expect to meet the love of my life that chilly February night, but I discovered someone who was everything I'd spent my entire life looking for. Someone who made my heart whole and allowed me to be entirely myself. John became attractive to me in an entirely new light because yes, he was all that I wanted, though he was also more. We began to grow not just as individuals, but as a couple. Building a life together creates so many incredible new meanings and experiences that change the world around you for the better. That's pretty darn attractive.

No Chance in Hell

My friend, who goes by the handle jannetty81, had an insightful response to my post from yesterday that I wanted to share with everyone.  For those who haven't read yesterday's piece, you may click here.  His comment is in the blog, but also pasted below:

Ha...what a topic for a Monday night. Scarier yet...I'm so intrigued that I'm choosing to respond...and it's still Monday night?!

While you've framed the post on the idea of having/not having children, I believe your words tap into an even deeper question about life...and things and stuff. When one talks about having children and investing so greatly in another being, one may also being facing the cold, hard facts about mortality. I think your last paragraph speaks to that concept, especially. 

This post started with a question about having kids, and ended up asking several more questions. One observation that I feel comfortable sharing...we sure have entered the next phases of our lives. In fact...somehow I'm waist deep in it, already. It seems that you may be, too.

I'll also say this...I would certainly feel a deep attachment to an adopted child. Just think about it...that child was probably dealt just about the worst hand possible. But then...you came along...and gave that child a flush on the river (heh heh...I know, it's cheesy). So make no mistake about it...that gesture would be giving and altruistic. However, in some ways it is also incredibly selfish...but in a good way. That bond would be as strong as any that I could imagine. If you're looking into having children, certainly that is among the top reasons.

First of all, this topic will scare a young man to talk about any day of the week.  Secondly, not all readers are in the same place as jannetty81 and myself, but I think most everyone can relate to the dilemma.  I know some families that have had their own children as well as taken the opportunity to adopt.  Not only does it satisfy both means of raising children, but it creates a diverse family dynamic from which both sets of children can learn great things.

But enough about yesterday, on to today's questions.  Again, if you want to play along in any fashion be sure to click here for the site where we draw the questions from.

50. If you could work for anyone you choose, who would it be and why?


Anyone that has known me long enough knows that I am an unabashed wrestling fanatic, so my dream boss if I had to pick one would probably be wrestling czar Vince McMahon.  That's where my mind zoomed to immediately, but then I thought about what a workaholic anyone who runs their own company must be.  In McMahon's case I have seen numerous examples to prove that notion but in front of cameras and behind the scenes.


The fact is this is true of all the entrepreneurs I know.  From the WWE all the way down to the little kids running their lemonade stands in the summer every one of them has two things in common: dedication to and a passion for what they do.  Yes, I am passionate about wrestling.  Hell, I could even say that I am passionate about my current job at Whole Foods Market to an extent, but I think ultimately my true passion is being independent.  Thus, while it would be nice to be working underneath wrestling's God, I would feel like I was giving my life to him.

That has been the issue I have had with all of my jobs; it feels like I am doing them for someone else.  So the true answer to this question is that the person I would most like to work for is me.  What would be my business?  Well, I haven't figured that out yet, but I am working on that right now...well not right now, but in this current period of my life.  I think if I could have a business of my own that that might be a job to which I was willing to give my whole life.  Even if it ends up being just a little old lemonade stand.






That's all for today.  Be sure to check out Kieley's work as well as she is a more polished, soon to be published writer.


This one is about her mom.  I think we all can relate to many of the stories.


This one is about the best bad food and starts with a picture of McDonald's fries.  Enough said.


(Don't forget these topics are being picked at random.  Hopefully that explains (some of) our erratic musings.)

You Need a Visual

12. What is the best, most delicious food to stuff your face with?

Well, obviously, I'd rather treat you to some drool-worthy culinary awesomeness. I mean, you can be hungry, feeling like you'd eat if someone drove you to the drive-through, and then on comes Giada or Rachael and you're salivating beside the television in three days' worn pajamas. You're "Tom Hanks on an island shouting for Wilson" hysterical, "Jessie Spano on diet pills" crazy, or "Katie Holmes breaking free of Scientology with a younger body double of Mr. Vanilla Sky" excited. Because there's FOOD. It's delicious. And you want it now.

Family Business

Like father...                                                           like son?

Back with Day Two and I must say it feels good to be writing again.  I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist as it pertains to my thoughts, so it is quite remarkable that I don't utilize facebook and twitter more frequently.  See I don't even know why I felt the need to share that musing.  I don't really know why we as people feel the need to share anything--everything in some cases.  Validation of our own existence, I suppose.  But as philosophy has taught me, we can't even verify that.  What does all this have to do with anything?  I don't know, but it's fun to ponder.


Now for something somewhat more purposeful.  As stated yesterday, feel free to weigh in on a particular question you might like answered by clicking here, or if you feel particularly ambitious please offer your own answer to a question.  We would be more than happy to post it if you, dear reader, are willing to share.  Part of the fun of this for us is the interaction, so the more we can encourage, the better.  Now, on to today's question.


39. Do you see yourself with children at some point in the future?


Yes.
































Just kidding, there's more to it than that.  Whoever wrote these questions is nosy.  I have been picturing my future children for way longer than what I would assume a typical man would.  Much to my own detriment in earlier days.  It isn't easy convincing a girl to start dating you when you have already pictured the whole relationship leading up to and through the wedding.  One might say I over-think things.  But let's be serious, who wouldn't want to help bring more people like me in to this world?  I mean check out that smile (above).  However, I can understand why I may have scared off a few ladies in my time with my deep commitment to commitment.


Being the planner that I am, the question I always ask myself when I think about having kids is whether or not I should adopt.  While there is something to be said for raising a child that is my own flesh and blood, I think it would be more selfless to adopt.  Our world is already ridiculously overpopulated and full of children who need good homes.  Even in our current living situation, Kieley and I could provide a strong support for those in need.  Don't worry, we're not planning anything just yet.


Still, I'm a selfish person and I want a child that I helped to create.  I worry for that child, though.  More than I worry for my family, friends, Kieley, and myself.  I worry for my friends kids, too.  I think every generation faces the same concern: what kind of world are we leaving behind for our children?  I honestly don't know.  What I do know is that whether my child is my blood or someone else's, I want the opportunity to raise at least one.  It would make me feel good to know that the next generation has someone a little bit like me living in it.  I hope he or she has a fair chance to improve the world in whatever small way he or she can.


And if he can grow a sweet beard before he is 10, well that would be something I'd like to see.

Where Do I Begin?

Glad to be back here in blogland after a long hiatus filled with working, moving, finding a new job, watching all of our movies, and waiting for the winter that never came. But alas, we're loving life in Chicago! In theme with this week's challenge:

23. What does your Mom do?

Well, what a question I randomly selected! My initial thought went to her job as a middle school teacher for the adolescent heathens of south Florida, a job she handles with such smart aplomb that putting my respect and admiration into words is nearly impossible. But in all honesty, that is her job and what my Mom actually does, what she is, remains a different thing entirely.

In no particular order...

My mom does this fantastic thing where she cracks herself up. I mean a side-splitting, roll over, fall on the floor laughter fit. Most of the time it takes everyone else a few minutes to catch up and the joke is (usually) worth it. Regardless, we all end up on the floor laughing.

My mom loves to recycle. She is a big crusader for planet Earth when it comes to plastics, glassware, and newspapers. She was so outraged by the lack of recycling at her school that she saved up about 250 water bottles and brought them home. And yes, she started crunching them one by one outside my bedroom window when I came home to visit, starting promptly at 8am on a Saturday, and sure it took hours and many a triumphant gleeful stomp after which she tossed them into the recycle bin, but the job got done. Deb doesn't do anything half-assed.

My mom makes the best meatloaf and macaroni salad, hands down. I can't duplicate it. No matter what I do. The same goes for chocolate chip cookies and a wide variety of homemade snack foods that have never seen a recipe page. Maybe she leaves out a secret ingredient, but let's be honest: it's probably love.

My mom gestures violently at idiot drivers. There's an escalating pattern to her rage, starting with a frustrated hand tap on the wheel. Then comes a raised hand and tongue tisk. Next we meet the infamous "double hand dance" where both wrists swivel about accompanied by a few choice words. I've never seen her get out of the car, but if both hands fly up, I know someone did something deservedly BAD.

My mom is gorgeous, naturally, and how she does it I don't know- more than saying her genes rock. Like most moms she hates picture taking and likes fussing in the kitchen and enjoys all that motherly behind the scenes work, but she should always be in pictures.

My mom can raise those Jersey roots in ten seconds flat. The balls of steel? The confident swagger? The sharp charm of a true champion? I've seen her raise a fight in a crowded Walmart over bad customer service and emerge victorious. Now THAT's something to claim with pride.

My mom roots for the Giants...and not just before they won this year's Superbowl (sorry, babe). She has always been their self-proclaimed biggest fan. Prior to game time , the lucky Giants socks come on, the shirt is worn, and she huddles in the living room "football chair." Then there's the inevitable chanting, cursing, hooting, hollering, and, in the event of a win, I do love the victory dance in front of the television which is an odd mix between the funky chicken and the electric slide. Most people learn to love football from their dad or a favorite uncle, but I learned to love it from my mom. And also to hate the Cowboys.

My mom buys in bulk. I think this comes from raising us in Florida where people have a "hurricane closet." My sister and I grew up dreading the day we might ever have to drink that condensed milk, but we were never left ill prepared when danger threatened. Batteries, canned vegetables, boxes of travel-sized cereal, juice packs, q-tips, shower goods, candles...my sister and I were the go-to girls for friends who liked playing store. If only I had better understood at that young age why I wasn't allowed to use Mom's checks to "pay" for sundries we all might have been spared a lot of frustration. I want her on my team during the apocalypse.

My mom has a soft spot which is really more of an all-encompassing black hole for shelter dogs. She spends her summers working tirelessly at Big Dog Ranch Rescue and does everything she can to get those dogs adopted by posting on Facebook and spreading the word to friends and strangers alike. Her passion would make anyone a believer, and if more people did the same we could put an end to kill shelters altogether. Check out the incredible BDRR here: http://www.bdrr.org

My mom has never shied away from awesomeness. She agreed to be one of the first cookie moms in my Brownie troupe, having no idea of what would become of our living room when the boxes arrived. She spent hours laboring over Halloween costumes when Kate and I were growing up; I didn't even know you could buy one from a store because the beautiful Disney princesses, the 60's Barbie, the Native American, the little elf I morphed into once a year all appeared from her own hands. She wrote notes with beautifully colored pictures on them for our lunches every day in elementary school and when I was too scared to go through the lunch line by myself on pizza day, she came to school and we had a date. She confronted my hellish seventh grade English teacher (who made Omarosa look like a saint) because I had a D in the subject when I always had an A (turns out this nightmare was purposefully failing kids). Mom never missed a play, conference, spelling bee, or ceremony (she'd be the one seated at the front clapping wildly) and the attention she paid to holidays would peak Martha Stewart's interest. And most of all she has always supported her children, no matter what, even if supporting them meant tough love for a better long term goal.

My Mom is a Mom, that is what she does; every minute of every day, loving unconditionally, and it will always be what I am proudest of her for.

New Digs

Welcome back!  Here's the short version of where we have been: job search, Thanksgiving, job search, Christmas, move, job search, job search, job search.  Okay, now that that is out of the way, here is the current two week challenge.


Each day we will answer a different question from this Website which seemingly has no purpose except to give us an easy new challenge to meet to get back in the swing of things.  Feel free to check out the questions here or by typing "good conversation starters" into Google.  We would gladly accept requests for questions to answer, so feel free to weigh in.


Thanks again for past and (hopefully) future interest in our musings.  And an extra special thanks goes out to those who held out hope that we would return and checked back with us in January and February.


And now, the first question...


46. How long have you been living at where you live now?

Randomly selected, and how apropos.  Well, my lady and I have been living in an "undisclosed" new location for just a little over two months now.  Certainly, most everyone that reads this will know where we are, if not to the exact latitude and longitude at least to the region.  However, the reason we can not say exactly where we are has to do with...well, let's just leave it at that until April 15, 2012.

It's been a wonderful experience thus far and I've never seen Kieley or Maddie (our dog) in better spirits.  Even without a full-time job yet, I'm encouraged by the decision to move.  I actually realized yesterday just how fun it is to see Kieley around true winter weather--or at least as true of a winter that has been offered to us this year in *censored, --*.

It's fun to watch her discover things about the area that I have known about my entire life.  For me it has been a rediscovery of not only the season, but also the place in this world that I have always thought of as home.  I'm not great about looking at the world through other people's eyes, but the glimpses that I have seen through Kieley's have been fascinating.  I can't remember the last time I thought about the way snow falls and moves differently across a frozen wood plank, or how bizarre it actually is to have my snot freeze in my nose.

Anyway, just a little over two months is how long we have been living here.